"As a bloke I have never understood the whole male violence thing," says Ian. "It's been said a hundred times but it needs to start with young men and boys ... There needs to be a wholesale and wide-ranging effort to promote to young males, concepts of masculinity that are diverse - there are many ways to be a man, all of which involve being authentic to oneself (it's OK to play the flute or have an ant-farm) - and sit squarely within modern concepts of gender equality. There should be educational materials and programs in schools and clubs. We need to revive masculine concepts of kindness, duty and self-sacrifice, not being right but doing right. In the end, it's about values-based self-respect."