This poignant story is brought exclusively to Business Insider subscribers, highlighting the deeply personal experience of Rachael Piltch-Loeb, a woman navigating the complexities of being part of the 'sandwich generation.' This term refers to individuals who find themselves simultaneously caring for their young children while also looking after aging parents. Rachael's journey began with anticipation and excitement as she looked forward to her father becoming a grandfather. Her dad was a dynamic individual who embodied vitality and love for life, engaging in various hobbies, including basketball, biking, tennis, and playing the guitar, all while being a dedicated architect and contractor. His passion for life was matched only by his affection for children, leading him to transition into a middle-school teaching role in his 40s, all the while raising his own kids.

He was calm, he was cool, and he really led with empathy, Rachael remembered fondly. He didn't need to be the loudest person in the room, but when he spoke, you wanted to hear what he had to say. However, the joy of welcoming a new generation was soon overshadowed when, just six months after Rachael had her first child, her father received a devastating diagnosis: early-onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of 58.

This diagnosis thrust Rachael into a challenging new role, compelling her to juggle the responsibilities of motherhood and caregiving for an ailing parent. Not only did she have to navigate the logistics and costs associated with both responsibilities, but she also faced the emotional turmoil of witnessing her father's gradual decline. Tragically, he passed away at the age of 62, just over three years after his diagnosis, leaving Rachael grappling with profound grief and heartache. There was so much anxiety, so much sadness, and so much unknown when that diagnosis came, she expressed. It was an overwhelming feeling.

The diagnosis confirmed what the family had started to suspect, as they had already begun to notice concerning signs of his cognitive decline even before the birth of Rachael's son. One vivid memory she recalls is the day her parents traveled from Boston to New York City to meet their grandchild. Her mother took the wheel because her father, who was usually adept at navigating, seemed to lose his way on the familiar streets. At traffic lights, he appeared momentarily disoriented, often taking longer to respond to the green light.

Rachael described how her father huffed and puffed upon arriving at the hospital, frustrated that he hadnt been the one driving. He was always the driver in the family, she reminisced. At that time, the family had been aware of his declining health, especially after he suffered a stroke at 54, which can result in lasting cognitive impairment. As the symptoms became more prominent, they began to suspect that Alzheimer's was the cause.

Once the label was there, there was no turning back, Rachael reflected. With Alzheimer's notoriously progressing more rapidly in individuals under 65, doctors provided the family with a sobering estimate of her father's remaining yearsapproximately five. It was kind of this pit in your stomach, this dreaded feeling that the end will come, and it will come a lot sooner than you're prepared for, she shared.

The family's dynamic altered significantly post-diagnosis. Gatherings that were once filled with joy and warmth shifted towards managing logistics. Questions loomed: Who would be responsible for keeping an eye on Dad? Would a family outing be too much for him to handle? As her father's condition deteriorated, their interactions became increasingly limited; for instance, his hands began to tremble when holding his grandson. By the time her boy became a more active toddler, Rachael realized she could not leave them alone together.

Despite these challenges, Rachael cherished the moments her father spent with her son. When I look back at all those memories, he's the one on the floor with him as hes learning to pick his head up, encouraging that mobility, she recalled fondly. Hes the one pushing him in the stroller or holding him in the baby carrier.

Rachael felt fortunate that her dad had a robust support system, with her mother and two siblings actively participating in his care. However, her situation was unique within the family, as she was the only one managing the dual responsibilities of caring for a young child while also tending to a parent with Alzheimers.

The similarities in caring for both her son and father stood out starkly. Both had a tendency to overestimate their independence, leading Rachael to strike a delicate balance between establishing necessary boundaries and granting them some autonomy. Both required supervision in similar ways. While she needed to feed her son, she also had to remind her father to eat, often sitting beside him to ensure he did. On one occasion, a minor flood occurred at her parents' house because her father inadvertently left the sink running.

In taking care of a parent, you recognize that these are things that they did for you, but it is heartbreaking to do that for somebody who you previously recognized as just so capable, Rachael noted with palpable emotion.

As millennials reach their 30s and 40s, many find themselves in similar positions, managing both parenthood and caregiving responsibilities. This inspired Rachael to write her book, The Millennial Caregiver, which serves as a guide to help others navigate the practical and emotional challenges of being a dual caregiver. While numerous resources exist regarding Alzheimer's, Rachael felt a distinct lack of materials tailored specifically to her unique experience.

One major aspect of her journey was the fact that her father was younger than the typical Alzheimer's patient. During her mothers attendance at support group meetings, she noticed most participants were decades older. Financially, caring for her father proved to be complicated. Since he was under the age of 65, he did not qualify for Medicare, which could have assisted with some treatment costs. Additionally, lacking long-term care insurance made extra services, such as speech or music therapy, a financial burden, requiring out-of-pocket payments.

You want desperately for the person who is impacted to just be themselves for a little bit longer, Rachael lamented. However, the cost of supplemental therapy weighed heavily on her family, significantly impacting their retirement savings. Conversations surrounding her situation also became challenging; when asked how she was doing, she struggled to provide a truthful yet succinct answer.

He cant use the bathroom by himself, the sink is flooding, he needs to be fed, hes wandering outside, she recounted, pondering how much detail people genuinely wanted to hear. Rachael emphasized that her journey taught her the importance of managing expectations and focusing on what she deemed essentialprimarily the wellbeing of her son and her father. Most importantly, she gained the insight to release the urge to predict and plan everything perfectly, navigating each day as it came.