Recently, while I was waiting for the subway, I found myself standing close to a woman who was brazenly making breakfastalbeit through the screen of another rider's iPhone. The scene played out like a quirky urban drama, with her animated gestures and loud conversation drawing the attention of several commuters around me. Although I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, it was impossible not to feel entwined in what was clearly a very private moment made public.

It turns out I'm not alone in my annoyance. Social media has seen a surge of posts from individuals expressing their frustrations about the uptick in public video calls. A user on Threads sparked a lively discussion last year when they questioned, "Am I insane for thinking it's extremely rude to FaceTime without headphones in a public space?" This sentiment resonated with many, as the comments piled up, revealing a profound divide on the appropriateness of turning public spaces into personal living rooms. Some users defended the practice, wondering how FaceTiming differed from chatting with a friend face-to-face. In contrast, others labeled public FaceTimers as "arrogant individuals with no care for others."

This issue, however, is not a new one. The introduction of FaceTime with the iPhone 4 back in 2010 marked the beginning of a significant shift in communication norms. Initially, it took a few years for a substantial number of iPhone users to embrace this new mode of connection. By 2012, the ability to conduct video calls over cellular data further embedded this practice into our daily lives. As video calls gained popularity, they became a topic of discussion among etiquette experts, who began addressing the nuisances in various newspaper columns. The normalization of video calls accelerated dramatically in 2020, coinciding with the global pivot to remote work and a surge in virtual meetings, leading to a culture where video calls became the norm rather than the exception.

According to Pamela Rutledge, the director of the Media Psychology Research Center, the act of FaceTiming in public reflects broader shifts in social norms over the last two decades. It's now commonplace to see individuals checking their phones at the dinner table or isolating themselves from public interactions with headphones. Rutledge explains that when people initiate a video call, even amidst a crowd, a psychological phenomenon occurs where our brains create a sense of social presence. This cognitive shift allows us to momentarily escape our surroundings, making us less aware of the discomfort we may be causing to those around us. Despite the growing annoyance, people continue to engage in video calls because the benefitssuch as the ability to read social cues from their conversation partnersoften outweigh the perceived violation of privacy.

For many, FaceTime serves as a valuable tool that enhances communication. Unlike traditional phone calls, which can sometimes feel transactional or work-related, video calls foster a sense of connection. A case study conducted during the pandemic revealed that FaceTiming with family significantly improved the behavior of an Alzheimer's patient, demonstrating the emotional benefits of digital interaction. There are also undeniable advantages for young parents who might typically restrict their children's screen time; a 2016 study indicated that children under the age of two can learn language patterns through interactive video calls, even recognizing familiar faces, such as grandparents. Yet, they do not gain the same cognitive benefits from passive video content.

Despite the many advantages of FaceTime, its essential to acknowledge the drawbacks. Juliana Schroeder, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley's Haas School of Business, noted in an email that while technology facilitates communication, it can detract from in-person experiences. Loud public video calls can disrupt the interactions of those nearbywhether they are fellow commuters, diners in restaurants, or individuals working out in a gym.

Interestingly, generational differences come into play regarding comfort with video calls. For instance, Gen Z tends to dislike phone calls but has grown up with video calls, which feel more casual and engaging. In contrast, baby boomers, who did not grow up with such public interactions, may find themselves answering video calls in crowded spaces, often neglecting to use headphones. The advent of smartphones has intensified the demand for constant availability, leading many to disrupt public environments or engage in texting during meetings or conversations.

Of course, we cannot always discern the reasons behind an individual's FaceTime or speakerphone call, which makes it tempting to judge others. Caroline Lidz, a 23-year-old tech public relations professional in Boston, shared her own experience of grappling with this double standard. She expressed irritation when she encounters someone on a video call without headphones but readily answers her twin sister's FaceTime calls, often without headphones. Lidz acknowledged that her frustration stems from a lack of understanding about other people's motivations. While she considers FaceTime calls engaging and interactive, she also reflects on the implications such public calls have on privacy. She believes that to avoid being discourteous, individuals should respect the privacy of the person they are calling and be mindful not to showcase too much of their surroundings during the video call.

This phenomenon of public call-shaming likely stems from a collective anxiety regarding our over-reliance on technology and the fear of being too connected. Recent statistics reveal that the average American spends nearly seven hours each day glued to screens, with three in four U.S. adults using FaceTime at least once a week. Alarmingly, 14% of respondents reported using the platform multiple times each day, according to a 2023 survey from the University of Southern California's Neely Center Social Media Index. Much of this screen time is happening in public spaces, effectively changing our social etiquette. As more people film TikToks or engage in FaceTime calls in public, societal norms around these behaviors are evolving and becoming more accepted.

Personally, I admit to FaceTiming my best friend in public when I seek her advice on an outfit or gift. I try to keep these interactions brief, rationalizing that my need to show her something justifies the interruption. I once answered a FaceTime call on a train, whispering excitedly because a friend was announcing her engagement. My grandfather, on the other hand, frequently places his iPhone on speaker during calls, claiming its difficult to hear through the devices small ear speaker. This habit means that anyone who calls him may find themselves speaking to a lively audience in his living room.

Ultimately, we can easily justify these loud calls as well as condemn them. We've adapted to connecting with one another at any time and in any place, often opting for phone conversations in previously unpleasant environments like airport terminals. This shift isn't inherently negative; however, a collective mindfulness about public etiquette would certainly enhance our shared experience. So, the next time youre tempted to FaceTime in public, consider putting on some headphones for the sake of everyones sanity.

Amanda Hoover is a senior correspondent at Business Insider, specializing in the tech industry and covering the latest trends and developments among major technology companies.