That's it, I'm done!' Over the years, I've witnessed quite a few friends go through divorces that started with that very sentence. I watched one of my friends get treated like utter rubbish by her unemployed husband for more than a year, and I just couldn't make her see sense. That was, until one night, she came home after a big day at work (you know, paying all the bills), only to find him still sitting on the couch where she'd left him that morning. He was surrounded by junk food, scratching his balls (I know, charming), and the laundry she'd asked him to hang out - his only job for the day - was still sitting wet and smelly in the washing machine. That was it. She packed her stuff and moved in with me for the duration of their divorce proceedings. Slowly, over time, she got her glow back, and I'm happy to report she's now thriving in a new, healthy relationship. This week, I put a call-out on my Instagram, asking women to share the precise moment they knew their marriage was destined for failure. In many cases, these moments took place years, even decades, before they decided to leave. It turns out it's not always an affair, betrayal or explosive row that signals the end is nigh. Often, it's a little habit you just can't see past or a moment when you realise you're less 'soulmates' and more 'flatmates who occasionally argue about bin night'. As psychotherapist Esther Perel puts it, 'Most people don't divorce because of one major event. They divorce because of an accumulation of small betrayals, disconnections, and loneliness that add up over time.' 'He didn't even know where I lived.' One woman told of the heartbreaking moment she realised her husband had absolutely zero interest in her life. Their marriage had been long-distance for a few years while she attended veterinary school in another state. The arrangement was going smoothly until a conversation with her husband made it abundantly clear they weren't on the same page. 'I had been there for three years and would come home during breaks,' she said. 'One day, I realised my marriage was basically a sham when we were talking about my studies and I realised he didn't know the name of my college or even the town where my apartment was. 'He just didn't care about my life. Not even a little bit.' Oof. If someone's not cheering you on during exams and existential student breakdowns, what are they even there for? 'His idea of open marriage was treating me like trash' Another woman sent this painful story about how opening her marriage turned her once-respectful and loving husband into a pig. 'A few years into our marriage, we decided to try ethical non-monogamy. Let's just say, it went downhill fast,' she began. Now, I think I've heard this story a million times before. A husband suggests an open marriage then soon discovers his wife is getting a lot more action than he is... Well, it turns out that wasn't the case for this particular woman. 'There was really nothing ethical about his non-monogamy,' she explained. 'I was always respectful and communicative about my relationships, but he was just a prick. 'He would have sex with every woman in sight - or at least try to - and would never tell me beforehand if he was on a date or wouldn't be coming home. 'This was just awful as we had children together. 'And when he did eventually come home, he would brag to me about his conquests. And not even in a kinky way - it was just revolting and disrespectful.' Using an open relationship as an excuse to pretend you're single and child-free? Yuck. Yuck. Yuck! Luckily, there's a happy ending. 'Long story short, I left him, went through an awful divorce and had to accept I will only parent my kids half the time,' she said. 'But I've now realised I'm a lesbian and met the love of my life. Today, I'm engaged to the most wonderful woman to ever walk the planet. Life really does get better.' 'He wrote a novel about his affair' This one gave me a good giggle that I was not expecting! This unlucky bride discovered her husband had written a romantic novel without telling her. Which isn't a problem in and of itself, until you dig into some of the unsavoury details of the plot... It turns out the book was all about a married man with a lover. Hmm! He also didn't get to far into the book, only penning a single chapter and the acknowledgements section (lol) - but what he did put down on paper was a damning exposé of his infidelity. Talk about leaving a trail of evidence. 'There were many, many things that told me our marriage was doomed, but one moment still makes me laugh,' she explained. 'He was writing a novel about himself and his lover, if you can believe that. I found his novel transcript one day,' she added. 'He was so narcissistic that he wrote the acknowledgments first, thanking everyone for his novel's success... before he had even finished writing it. 'There was only one chapter, told from his girlfriend's perspective, where she raved about how amazing lover he was. 'The rest of the book, which his list of chapters showed was supposed to be told from his perspective about her, was blank and unfinished. 'Clearly he got bored early in the process or was simply too narcissistic to write in detail about anyone but himself. Needless to say, it never made the bestseller list!' The audacity! 'One too many pairs of dirty socks' And then there's the slow burn of domestic rage... Oh, I know it well. 'He left his filthy socks on the bathroom floor one too many times. After 19 years of cleaning up after a manchild, I finally snapped and threw them in his face,' one frustrated ex-wife told me. 'Every tiny resentment from almost two decades of marriage came out in one glorious, rage-fuelled moment.' It's a relatable story for sure. But what happened next? 'Anyway, life's bloody amazing almost three years later,' she revealed. 'Now I only pick up after myself and my 11-year-old (who gets a free pass, for now.) I have casual boyfriends who treat me like a goddess - and, better yet, they wash their own socks. Imagine that!' Honestly, if that's not the fairytale ending we deserve, I don't know what is. 'He looked at me like I was nothing' There's nothing like a family wedding to turn simmering resentment into the cold, clear realisation you actually hate each other. For one woman I spoke to, it was a stark reminder she had other options available. 'I realised my marriage was over at a wedding, actually. It was someone from my ex-husband's side, so all of his mates were there,' she began. 'I wasn't happy at the wedding - we weren't in a good place. But s*** really hit the fan at the reception. 'He was talking boats and hunting with the boys (yawn) and one of his mates asked him, "Shouldn't you check with your missus?" He just glared at me, turned back to his friends, and said, "F**k no". 'It wasn't just the words. It was the look, like I was nothing. That was it. I was done.' In the background of all this nastiness, our unhappy wife had a crush on a male colleague - and she knew he felt the same way about her. 'That day I texted him. I said I know we like each other - will you wait for me? He said he couldn't promise anything, which was fair enough. 'But later that night I was just distraught over what had happened and sneaked to the bathroom to call him. I wanted to hear his voice.' The marriage didn't end right away but eventually she had the courage to end things. She didn't feel bad about it - her husband's behaviour at the wedding showed how he really felt about her. 'Fast forward and the man I cried on the phone to is now my partner of 19 years.' If that's not a happily-ever-after plot twist, I don't know what is. Here are a few more of the answers that came through: • 'I knew it was over when he planned a boys' trip for our first wedding anniversary... and told me after he booked it.' • 'We went to couples therapy, and he spent the entire time flirting with the therapist.' • 'I was crying about my dad being sick and he turned up the TV volume and said, "Can you do that somewhere else?"' • 'I realised it was done when I got more excited about my dog coming home from the groomer than him coming home from work.' • 'He proposed to me because his mother told him he needed to. I thought I could change it into a love story. I was wrong.' So, husbands, take note: The truth is, marriages don't usually end in a big explosion. They end in a hundred tiny moments - the eye rolls, the heavy silences, the moments when you stop laughing together, stop dreaming together, stop caring altogether. Or, as therapist Terry Real bluntly puts it, 'Marriage collapses under the weight of thousands of small failures to care, not because of one dramatic incident.' And men, for the love of all things holy, pick up your damn sweaty underpants, hang out the washing, and start treating your women like the goddesses they are! Honestly, it's not that hard.