Last summer, as I drove away from my son's college dormitory, a wave of emotion washed over me, causing tears to stream down my cheeks without a care for the mascara blurring my vision. The reality of the moment struck hard; my two sons were embarking on their new academic journeys at the University of Tennessee, leaving me to grapple with the silence of an empty nest.

After a few moments of collecting myself, I dialed my sons number, hoping to check in on him. His cheerful voice, filled with laughter, reassured me as he said, 'Mom, Im OK.' Yet, despite his upbeat tone, I felt the weight of my own sadness. As a single mother, I was navigating this transition alone, missing his sweet voice and reminiscing about our last moments together at home. The reality of my new situation hit hard, and I allowed my emotions to pour out, crying as if I were a child again.

With both of my sons now off to college, I found myself grappling with mixed emotions. It was undoubtedly a bittersweet moment; I was thrilled for their accomplishments and the bright paths ahead of them, but simultaneously, I felt lost and uncertain about my own journey. With them gone, I had become an empty nester, and I had to learn how to embrace this new phase of life.

The silence that enveloped my home was daunting. I would roam through the once-bustling spaces, painfully aware of the absence of my children. This silence brought forth a sense of grief that I hadn't anticipated, prompting me to turn on music from my phone, desperately seeking to fill the void. Too often, I found myself drifting off to sleep on the sofa with the TV murmuring in the background, a futile attempt to ward off the loneliness.

Being a single mom in this empty nest stage is nothing short of a challenge. I realized that to navigate this transition successfully, I needed to focus on becoming the best version of myself. This meant allowing myself to experience moments of grief whenever they arose, rather than suppressing them.

As I sat in solitude, confronting my loneliness and reflecting on my identity, I came to a profound realization: the feelings of isolation I was experiencing were not entirely foreign to me. I had felt similarly when I lost my parents and had never fully processed that grief. I had been strong for my children for so long, holding my sorrow at bay to care for them. However, once they left for college, I was suddenly confronted with the pain I had managed to avoid for years. My children had unknowingly acted as a shield, protecting me from dealing with my past losses.

With them gone, I was forced to face my emotions head-on. In the quiet moments, I was overwhelmed by memories and feelings, specifically recalling my mothers voice, the very person who had taught me English and so much more about life.

This transition into empty nesting provided me with an opportunity to consciously own my feelings and begin to rebuild my identity after the loss of my parents. I recognized the need to engage in new experiences as a means of working through my emotions. I started to travel, reconnecting with old friends while also forging new relationships. I even picked up my writing again, a passion I had set aside for many years.

Daily self-care became crucial as I incorporated evening walks, meditation, and journaling into my routine. This journey allowed me to peel back the layers of my being, uncovering who I truly am and what I had been hiding from both others and myself. For the first time in years, I had the autonomy to make decisions solely for my own well-being, rather than always prioritizing my childrens needs.

Through this process, I learned that as I let go of my children, my happiness and fulfillment became my responsibility. I realized that I could create anything I desired in my life, which is an integral part of grieving and healing. Gaining this newfound freedom has been liberating, enabling me to explore uncharted territories of my own potential. I continue to discover what brings me joy and purpose, all while honoring the journey without rushing through it.