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Did you know you have fibroids?

This was the unexpected revelation I received during my first ultrasound after confirming my pregnancy. I braced myself, anticipating a flood of bad news. However, the ultrasound technician reassured me that there was nothing to worry about regarding my fibroids at that time.

My pregnancy progressed without complications, ultimately concluding with the delivery of my son via C-section. Yet, as I lay on the operating table, feeling numb from the chest down and enduring the surgery, I caught my midwifes gasp. They are huge, she exclaimed, referring to my fibroids. Despite her shock, she remained unconcerned, and life continued on.

Fast forward seven years, and the benign tissue growths that once caused no trouble have become a source of significant discomfort, leading me to the decision to undergo a hysterectomy.

So, what exactly are fibroids? Uterine fibroids are non-cancerous growths consisting of muscle and fibrous tissue that develop within the uterus. According to medical research, it's estimated that up to 77% of women during their childbearing years will develop some form of fibroids. In my case, I was initially unaware of their presence because I exhibited none of the typical symptoms, which can range from heavy or prolonged menstrual bleeding, pelvic pain, and even infertility in more severe cases.

Following the birth of my first child, I discovered I was pregnant again, this time with twins. Given the presence of three fibroids and the impending arrival of two babies, I was understandably anxious about the combination. Surprisingly, I experienced yet another uneventful pregnancy, culminating in another C-section.

However, everything changed when my menstrual cycles resumed. My first period after the twins arrived was overwhelming, an experience I anticipated after being free of my cycle for 19 months due to breastfeeding. Yet, as my periods returned, they became increasingly unmanageable. Each cycle brought heavier bleeding, culminating in my diagnosis of severe anemia, which required iron infusions to combat.

Though I sensed something was amiss, I initially attributed the drastic changes in my menstrual cycle to the onset of perimenopause, accepting this as my new reality. My OB/GYN, however, believed differently and recommended an ultrasound. The results were startling: my fibroids had more than doubled in size over the past two years, compressing my uterus and causing excessive bleeding.

After reviewing my options, my doctor presented two potential paths forward: I could opt for a monthly injection that would induce early menopause, or I could have my uterus removed entirely, along with the fibroids, while preserving my ovaries to delay the onset of menopause. Given the positioning of my fibroids, a simple removal was not feasible. With concerns about the implications of early menopause weighing heavily on my mind, I ultimately decided to proceed with a hysterectomy.

The emotional turmoil surrounding this decision was far more profound than I anticipated. Although my husband and I had long discussed our family planning and concluded that we did not want more children, the thought of definitively closing the door on the possibility of having more kids proved challenging for me. For a fleeting moment, I even considered the idea of having one more child before its too late, a reflection of the complex emotions tied to motherhood. I cherished my experiences of being pregnant; my uterus was a sanctuary for my children during their early development, making it hard to say goodbye to it.

In a vulnerable moment, I expressed my fears to my husband, worrying that he might find me less attractive after the procedure. He reassured me that my worth was not tied to my ability to conceive and reminded me that, technically, I would still be ovulating each month. If we ever desired, we could explore surrogacy as an option for expanding our family. His support provided a small measure of comfort in a time filled with uncertainty.

As I prepare for the scheduled surgery, I am keenly aware that I have only two cycles left before the momentous day arrives. I look forward to the prospect of regaining control over my body, alleviating the constant fatigue, and the dread of potential leaks that plagued my life. Yet, alongside my eagerness for physical relief is a lingering concern about the emotional journey that recovery post-surgery will entail.