For my wife and me, understanding how to raise a child seemed like a simple task before we actually took the plunge into parenthood. In those carefree days, we could easily sit back and critique the parenting choices of others without a hint of hesitation. However, once we embraced our roles as parents, we quickly became the recipients of dubious looks and raised eyebrows as we navigated the complexities of raising a child.

Through the ups and downs of parenting, I've accumulated a wealth of knowledge. Most importantly, I've realized that raising a child is no laughing matter; it's filled with both challenges and priceless memories. In honor of both Mother's Day and Father's Day, I've decided to compile a selection of jokes that encapsulate the parenting experience. From amusing parenting mishaps to the often awkward conversations about the birds and the bees, these entertaining anecdotes are sure to bring a smile to your face!

One of the first lessons you learn in parenthood is that it is inextricably linked with worry. Take, for instance, a young couple who welcomes their first child into the world with overwhelming joy. However, their happiness soon turns to concern as they find that their child does not utter a single word for the first three years of his life. Despite their best effortshiring speech therapists, doctors, and even psychologiststhe little boy remains silent. Then one morning, at the age of five, he looks up from his breakfast and says, My oatmeals cold. The stunned couple is taken aback. The father finally finds his voice and asks, Son, why have you waited so long to say something? The child simply shrugs and responds, Up till now, everythings been OK.

The uncertainty of parenting often leads to worry, especially when it seems you are embarking on a DIY project of epic proportions. As comedian Jon Stewart aptly put it, Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Here's a humorous scenario: A delivery driver knocks on a door, and a young boy answers, cigar in hand and beer in the other. The driver inquires, Are your parents home? The child removes the cigar from his lips and replies, What do you think?

In our household, discipline wasnt strictly enforced. However, when the need arose to discipline our children, my wife took on the roles of judge, jury, and executioner. Theres a funny story about a mother who asks her young sons what they would like for breakfast. The first child replies, Ill have some @#$%^& pancakes. Outraged, the mother sends him to his room for swearing. She then turns to the second boy and asks, What do you want for breakfast? The second boy innocently replies, Well, I sure dont want the @#$%^& pancakes!

My wife also took on the role of the resident zoologist during our parenting journey. So, when it came time for our young daughter to learn about the birds and the bees, I conveniently passed the responsibility to her and retreated to the next room, increasing the television volume with each EEEWWW!!! and GROSSSSSS!!! that wafted through the air.

Consider this unfortunate farmer who found himself in a similar predicament: While he was helping one of his cows give birth, he noticed his five-year-old son peering at the scene. Sensing this was the perfect opportunity to discuss the birds and the bees, he asked, Do you have any questions, son? The wide-eyed boy gasped and asked, Just onehow fast was that calf going when it hit the cow?

Honesty is a cherished trait, except when it comes from young children, who can be brutally candid. A little girl once flipped through the family photo album and paused, pointing to a picture of her mother with a muscular, curly-haired man on the beach. She asked, Whos the good-looking guy? The mother proudly replied, Thats your father. The girl then quipped, Really? Then whos the old, fat, bald man who lives with us now? But as fathers, we often find ways to retaliate with dad jokes. For example:

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.

How did the hacker escape the FBI? He ransomware.

Mom jokes, on the other hand, often reveal the challenges of motherhood. For instance, you know youre a mom when you completely understand why Mama Bears porridge was too cold. Or when you lick a dark smear off your finger and think, Phew, its chocolate. A classic mom recipe for iced coffee might go like this: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Finally, drink it cold.

As parents, we are often blind to our childrens faults. Picture a young father sitting on a bus with his one-year-old son who suddenly begins to wail. An elderly man seated nearby glares at the child and comments, That child is spoiled, isnt he? The father, seemingly distracted, simply replies, No, they all smell this way.

In the grand scheme of parenting, your primary responsibility is to keep your children alive, closely followed by teaching them about the world around them. Imagine a shark and his son swimming near a group of people. The son asks, Why dont we eat them now? The shark responds, Because they taste better without all the poop inside.

When traditional teaching methods fail, parents often turn to faith. One day, Tobys mother catches him reading the Bible to their cat. Sweetly, she thinks, until she hears a commotion. Rushing outside, she finds Johnny attempting to dunk the cat into a bucket of water. Johnny, what on Earth are you doing? she exclaims. Im baptizing Muffin, he replies. But cats dont like water! she insists. To which he retorts, Well, then he shouldnt have joined my church!

The joys of parenting are also marked by sleepless nights and unexpected interruptions. Picture Max the camel wandering into his parents room at 3 a.m. asking for a glass of water. Another one? groans his father, Thats the second this month!

In a household with multiple kids, its often hard to deny the existence of a favorite child. Just yesterday, my mother asked me to distribute the invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party. It dawned on me that my brother was, in fact, her favorite twin.

Being a child isn't always easy, especially when parents separate. One child innocently asked, Whats a couple? His mother replied, Two or three, which might explain why their marriage fell apart.

Through all the trials and tribulations, one truth remainsour love for our children is unwavering. During our most challenging moments, we develop our coping mechanisms. For instance, when my daughter was born, we recorded the birth. Now, whenever she drives me up the wall, I just hit rewind and watch her come back into my life.

At Readers Digest, we have been sharing laughter and joy through jokes for over a century. Our humor has been curated and vetted over the last twenty years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor who formerly worked with National Lampoon. The publication has garnered esteemed ASME awards for its comedic content, from witty quips to puns, cartoons, and one-liners. You can find a treasure trove of humor in our 2022 compendium, Readers Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For more about our team and our editorial policies, feel free to explore our website!