A wedding I once wouldn't miss for the world turned out to present a dealbreaker for me, a situation that many can relate to when it comes to navigating social expectations and personal comfort.

When I received an invitation to a friend's elaborate three-day wedding celebration in the vibrant country of Colombia, I was immediately excited. My friend and I had met in high school more than a decade ago, and despite drifting apart due to the passage of time and geographical distance, I felt a strong desire to be there for this significant occasion in her life.

As I began looking into the logistics of attending the event, my enthusiasm was slightly tempered by the costs involved. Flights from the Midwest to Colombia, along with hotel accommodations, would set me back over $2,000a considerable investment, but one I was initially willing to make for a dear friend.

However, everything changed when I learned there would be no plus-ones allowed for single guests, including myself. This restriction struck me as a dealbreaker. The thought of spending thousands of dollars and enduring a grueling ten-hour flight each way, only to spend three days alone amidst a crowd of 179 other guests, was overwhelming. I realized that this wasn't merely about attending a wedding; it also meant I would be competing for the bride and groom's attention, which added to my reluctance.

While I recognized that my friend had every right to impose her rules regarding her guest list, I felt no obligation to accept those terms that made me uncomfortable. It seemed unreasonable to expect anyone to travel internationally alone for such a momentous event, especially when others who were in relationships could bring their partners along.

Feeling somewhat disillusioned, I sought the advice of etiquette coach Myka Meier. Her insights provided a refreshing perspective on the situation. While its understandable to feel disappointed about not being offered a plus-oneespecially when others wereit's ultimately their decision, Meier noted, emphasizing that the couple had the right to dictate the guest list at their wedding.

Meier further explained that while it was perfectly acceptable for the couple to limit plus-ones, it was equally valid for me to decline the invitation. Etiquette goes both ways, she added, reassuring me that I was never obligated to attend if the invitation didn't align with my comfort level.

After taking a step back to evaluate my potential financial and emotional investments, I made the difficult decision to decline the invitation. I communicated my choice to the bride with heartfelt sincerity, and to my relief, she responded with complete understanding.

If the invitation had permitted me to bring a friend, my outlook on the destination wedding could have shifted entirely. Instead of viewing it as a lonely, obligatory trip, it could have transformed into an exciting adventure shared with a close friend. After all, I have several friends with whom I share a deep bond, one that rivals romantic partnerships in many ways. If they had accompanied me, we would have appeared just as joyful as any couple at the wedding, turning what could have been a solitary experience into a memorable journey.